Also, I'm really weak and I don't like this, I don't want it to be this way! This isn't how I pictured my life and more than once this week I've screamed and screamed "WHY ME!" Yup, it's time you know, I'm NOT as strong as you think I am. I can't believe the last FOURTEEN years of my life have been on and off fighting the BIG or in my case, the BIG "C"!
It's really hard and I need to find a way to help me forget about some of it. Some, I honestly don't remember on my own, I think my memory has a way of not letting me remember it. But the things I do remember, like the pain and the P.T. and the handfuls of hair...Sorry this has turned into a VENT FEST. I didn't have this intention when I wrote it.
I've gotten so many great books in, and I LOVE to read, but imagine it being just about the only thing you do and NEVER being able to leave your bed. NEVER! I'm picked up by my sheets for tests or operations from bed (A big air bed it is too) and I'm put on a gurney and that's when the pain kicks in again.
I'm hoping I get a LOT stronger this week and for those of you that have me in your thoughts and prayers, I appreciate it. I didn't want to make my "FUN" blog sad ever... but sometimes, I guess you just have to get it out. I'm out of Journal paper or I would've probably wrote it there. I've ordered a new one and it should be here like yesterday. I have so many great reviews waiting for me to just post...I have to get them fixed.
THESE authors should be PROUD! And I'd like to thank them all for taking me away to a different place...not the one I HAVE to be!
Again...I apologize for making a ROYAL case of all this. I just couldn't stand one more poke, pinch, needle, prod, touch, talk or "information.
I LOVE YOU ALL
XXX - KISSES
The Very Weak Sad and Not Herself Princess
HMMM...I THINK I need MORE TO READ!
Oh Amy! That really sucks. I hope that you can get your strength back and enjoy some good books in an attempt to get away from it all. My thoughts, like always, are with you.
ReplyDeleteWords can't express how I feel for you. So many times, life doesn't make sense to me! I will constantly be sending positive thoughts and prayers for health your way. God bless you.
ReplyDeleteCindi
Same here...not a day goes by that you aren't on my mind. My prayers are with you, hon, please know that. We are all pulling for you.
ReplyDeleteOh, I'm so sorry kiddo! It's been awhile since I've visited here--I'm going to have to look in on you more often!
ReplyDeleteIsn't it ironic that some people will do anything to get high, and you're just the opposite. You don't want to be high anymore--you just want to be pain free!
I'll check back soon...
I wish I could take away some of your pain, Amy. My thoughts and prayers are with you. You always brighten my day!
ReplyDeleteI feel so bad. I hope you don't. I hate to be a burden to anyone and knowing that you all care about me just makes me want to jump for joy.
ReplyDeleteI love you all. You're always here for me.
You've got every right to be mad, pissed and just plain sad and upset, so LET IT OUT GIRL! We are all routing for you and hope your spirits are lifted soon.
ReplyDeleteMy heart breaks for you, Amy! You are constantly in my thoughts and prayers. So unfair! I hope today finds you feeling better so you can enjoy simple pleasures. You are a rare gem and we all love you!
ReplyDeleteXXOOOOXXX!
Oh Honey. I am so sorry to hear about the pains and aches. I am still praying for you and sending you good thoughts.
ReplyDeleteKeep up the good fight
Amy !
ReplyDeleteAs always, I love you and pray for you every day. Get better and keep up the good fight. You are doing great and have so many friends here !!!
Keep us posted, we care.
Hi, I came straight from Nymeth's blog and read your latest entry.
ReplyDeleteDo not ever appologize for venting the way you feel or feel you are bothering anyone. You are a fantastically courageous woman and we can all learn from your courage even so I so wish it wasn't so.
Fight, never give up, venting, bitching is good, healthy, so keep doing it and we'll all cheer you on.
My thoughts as of today are with you,
here is a great big
(((((((((HUG)))))))))
Hey - hang in there :)
ReplyDeleteAlisha, Thewrittenword *I'm going blank on your name right now...so sorry*, Cheryl, Patsy, Madeline and lenore, you all made me cry. Thank you so very much! I feel loved. (GROUP HUG) J.Kaye, Maw, Cindi, Chartroose and Wendy...Please join in. You all made me cry! xoxo Amy
ReplyDeleteYou have every right to feel that way. I hope tomorrow brings a better day.
ReplyDeleteThank you SO much Chris. You really touched me! Please stop by anytime you'd like to!
ReplyDelete