Also, I'm really weak and I don't like this, I don't want it to be this way! This isn't how I pictured my life and more than once this week I've screamed and screamed "WHY ME!" Yup, it's time you know, I'm NOT as strong as you think I am. I can't believe the last FOURTEEN years of my life have been on and off fighting the BIG or in my case, the BIG "C"!
It's really hard and I need to find a way to help me forget about some of it. Some, I honestly don't remember on my own, I think my memory has a way of not letting me remember it. But the things I do remember, like the pain and the P.T. and the handfuls of hair...Sorry this has turned into a VENT FEST. I didn't have this intention when I wrote it.
I've gotten so many great books in, and I LOVE to read, but imagine it being just about the only thing you do and NEVER being able to leave your bed. NEVER! I'm picked up by my sheets for tests or operations from bed (A big air bed it is too) and I'm put on a gurney and that's when the pain kicks in again.
I'm hoping I get a LOT stronger this week and for those of you that have me in your thoughts and prayers, I appreciate it. I didn't want to make my "FUN" blog sad ever... but sometimes, I guess you just have to get it out. I'm out of Journal paper or I would've probably wrote it there. I've ordered a new one and it should be here like yesterday. I have so many great reviews waiting for me to just post...I have to get them fixed.
THESE authors should be PROUD! And I'd like to thank them all for taking me away to a different place...not the one I HAVE to be!
Again...I apologize for making a ROYAL case of all this. I just couldn't stand one more poke, pinch, needle, prod, touch, talk or "information.
I LOVE YOU ALL
XXX - KISSES
The Very Weak Sad and Not Herself Princess
HMMM...I THINK I need MORE TO READ!
